Chicken?

Well, when last I wrote, I had intended to tell my grandparents about my joining the church.  Didn’t happen.  There were no natural moments that would have led into a discussion about religion or beliefs.  I’ll admit that I didn’t want to chance ruining what was a perfectly nice visit.  However, there is more to it, and it was an intentional decision.

If you’ve ever listened to Dr. Laura for a full show, chances are that you might have heard a call in which someone wanted to tell another person something that would have been pretty big news — often something like, “you’re adopted,”  “I’m not your real father,”   “you were conceived by a rape.”   Dr. Laura first asks, “How would it benefit this person to know this information?”  99% of the time, it wouldn’t.  Most times, the caller realizes that it would only shake the sense of security the person has in the family or in their life.  Sometimes, it would just be hurtful with no good to come of it at this point.

Although this is certainly not that monumental of a piece of information, it would be a big deal in our family.  My grandmother is not close enough to us, geographically or emotionally, to see our lives and observe how my joining the church has improved my life and our family.  She would not understand what is different from before.  She would truly believe that it was an act of defiance meant to hurt her (which, I recognize is arrogant and rather foolish….)  I truly don’t believe that anything good would be accomplished from it, and instead, only hurt would follow.  I don’t want to cause a separation between her and her great-grandchildren, or any other family rifts, over something that I don’t think is that important that she know.  Maybe it’s the wrong decision, but I don’t think so.

I prayed about this, that if it was important to tell her, I would, but that if it wasn’t, that I’d feel peace about not telling her, and it wouldn’t be a big deal.  I just, while writing the last paragraph, remembered that prayer.  After that prayer, it never even entered my mind again to bring up religion.  I do believe that I got my answer.  It wasn’t that important, and I had a great sense of peace from that.

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