A few nights ago, I had a girls’ night with my daughter, which culminated in shopping at the mall. As we held hands, she invented little games which involved jumping over certain colored squares in the tile floor, landing in others, and always jumping over contrasting lines. Although she was having fun on her own, she kept asking me to play the games with her. I couldn’t, I explained — I had to watch where we were going, instead of looking at the floor.
This resonated suddenly with me, as a metaphor for life in general with children. While my children are able to live fully in the moment, completely unconcerned with what the next meal will be, if there are clean clothes, if we paid the electric bill this month, or any of a million other minute details, their father and I are constantly watching for roadblocks, obstacles, people in our way, and ways to fulfill our wants and needs.
I believe this is what separates children from adults — the ability to consistently look ahead and plan for tomorrow and beyond. And by embracing parenthood, I have taken on the responsibility of not only watching my own path, but that of my children. This doesn’t mean I make it clear for them and remove all obstacles. I don’t make other people clear out of their way. Instead, I use those things and people in their path as teaching moments, to help them learn how to plan ahead for themselves.
But sometimes, when we’re just having fun together, there’s nothing wrong with just clearing her path, and letting her revel in today, in this jumping game, with no thought for the future. (And it’s also okay if, every so often, I check that the path ahead is clear for a while, and play with her in the moment.)
